Besides that , another wonderful things that happened in April was meeting up Sarah! :D there were a time when we met along with her sister and i was truly grateful to have a date although it only took up for 3 hours. Well , as long there was a meet up , and we can see and smiles to each other. that matters the most. and it was very effing wonderful feeling i have here in my heart just to see her smile. and in the early May, She dropped by to my house for a visit. went to my room. and say hi to me in person. It was very very effing sweet of her to do so. and i love her more and more. the way she talk , the way she comment how messy my room was and stuffs, again and again put up a smile upon my face . and he never failed to do so. with that , i gave her a big warm of hug for making my heart feels warm as it needed to be. cherish up with love and care , topping up with joyful moments and still creating memory with Sarah. and i lover her more and more each day.
And i can tell and swear that she was the only Girl friend of mine who ever stepped in into my room. And i don't know how that happened. usually i was embarrassed of outsiders to come in into my very own cave of shelter but then when it comes to her, immediately the feelings to welcome her in is very much pleasant. I don't even know how it turns out to be that way. Back in the days with my other exes , it was very fcukking hard for them to step into my crib. What else to say my own room where i sleeps , sings my songs out , chatting , webbing , changing out my clothes and did any embarrassed act. Well , perhaps she's the one? i dont know. Only He can judge things out and plan how and what my life will be. And i appreciate every single thing that had been given to me which includes up Sarah in my Life. Started with stranger , to a friend , more than a friend , and more ... perhaps? we'll see. Lets just say we'll enjoy the present and don't put up hopes and think too much about the future.
Lets talk about how she's in my room. Well , it was kinda embarrassed for me to let her into my messy dirty cave of mine. Well , my mom actually been telling me and my little brother to clean things up over and over but still , the laziness down us down too deep that we just had to tell her that we'll do it tomorrow. the next day. later. or maybe , a big NAHHH on her face. but i don't really know why all out of sudden when the big flash news that Sarah is coming by , the spirit to clean things up suddenly pops up and there i was , clean up my own room. with a little help of my mom. in the sweeping and arranging up stuffs. i guess. well , although there was a cleaning going on , Still , the room turns out to be messy with all the clothes hanging and unwanted things lying around the floor , table , and bed. well , wait till Sarah to drop by again then i'll have a proper clean up. hopefully. :D well , she was just saying hi and gave me a novel entitled "have a little faith" which is a based on true story. Actually i haven't started to read a single page yet but there was a reading on the 1st few lines. LINES. what the heck chen . what were u thinking. better stay out from chilling with your friends and start reading Sarah's book. Damn it chen. you never listen.
Anyway , why am i being so worry and had this nasty feelings when it comes to chilling out with my friends was because the old bad habits of mine. Every time when i'm out with my friends and chill around with them , the horror strikes as i turns out to be carried away with the things around me and forgot and keep on forgetting about the deal with my Sarah. And i don't even know how to manage that problem of mine. i know i've been acting jerky and spending too much time with my friends but i can't help it. dang. and i feel guilty sometimes on how she feels and such. And i'm very very am sorry for what i've done. its not i'm doing it in purpose but being a guy , getting around with friends , and the hang out , its just the nature of guys. And i'm sorry for being this way. the way i am. Sometimes i've been taking "offs" from hanging out just to spend time around with her but i guess it wasn't enough. i guess i'll start something more than that. Well , as long as there weren't any fights or misunderstanding occurrence is fine enough for me. Cause the shitty things which can end things up are those two. and still , am still , doing my best in it to fight against it. no matter what. gonna keep this wonderful thing we had till the end.
Usually when things turn out bad , all i can do is to face things up and try to calm her down. but usually she wants it to call it a day and wait till the next day to stick with things and try to catch up.
Apart from the book , i was kinda surprised to see the pendrive that she gave it. i thought it was only filled up only with ghost adventure season 3 - 6 but turns out , there were photos , musics and movies added on in it. Photos? well there were photos of Sarah when she was being 20 , 21 , 22 and the current 23. From the way i see it , i was kinda shocked , on how she change in the way that she's getting mature as she's growing up and getting older. growing and getting older in a good way i would say. And there were these photos of hers with a necklace of a letter "N". And i was thinking , what the heck is that N suppose to mean? and again when my brain keeps on thinking and think there it was , it is because of the one of the exes maybe. Sabahan dude. perhaps. but what the heck. People would think why the heck wouldn't I be mad where someone is wearing up things which relates or shows you're still in touch and having a thing with your ex , but for me , i ain't give a shit about it. That was the past and all i can say is that we've grown up. and still keep on growing. nobody can stops that and the past is the one that had been giving a good life lesson for us to change and to improve. well , the things that she had done , and being where she was at , i aint gonna blame her for anything. that's just her past. And i guess it's ok for me to share things around with her if she don't mind. :D
Sarah is the girl of my life , the one that makes me happy , the one that being upset all the time and makes me worry , the one that gives me nasty feelings , the one that check my result back in april 2012 , the one that makes me smile , the one that been giving good advice , the one that lift me up when i'm down, the one that keep on laughing around when she say "i did talked a lot today kan? " , the one who ever ever ever ever stepped into my room, the one who shares out music with , the one that keeps on saying "i love you" , the one who made my twitter profile , the one who change my profile settings into private , the one who knows my password in every access of my account , the one i can share my feelings with , the one who really understands me whenever i'm being a jerk and not being a jerk , the one who really says "sorry , lelah ku , mok tido lok. lets do our own things" , the one who reads up my blog , fb , twitter every single morning , the one who keeps on giving me an early morning text , the one who keeps on calling me sayang , the one who enlighten my heart , the one who i trust , the one who i care , and most of all , she is the one who i really truly madly deeply in love with.
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